The ladder that lifts you
Words matter. They can paint a picture of God that is ugly, mean and terrifying or point us the way of the Cross to the welcoming arms of the glorious Father whose beauty dazzles in a sunrise, whose generosity blazes in autumn leaves, whose gentleness whispers in a breeze and whose great breakers hurl us heavenwards to praise his glory.
Words matter. What I say about God underpins what I say about myself. If God is a slave-driver, I am a slave. But if God is love, then I am blessed. If I am his child and have the family likeness, then I can expect each day that I will be a blessing to those around me.
Camilla’s evocative ladder photo has been made into a card which carries the words, “We love you, we are with you, we are never going to let you go!” That’s what the Trinity - Father, Son and Spirit sing over us. They call us to do the same for each other. That’s a ladder that will lift you out of the pit.
Words matter. They can bring hope or despair.
I’ve been told too many times, “Of course, you’ll never recover!” It’s meant well but unhelpful! Those saying it are usually reacting to the skewed idea that grief should have a fixed end; they’re trying to give me freedom to continue to grieve and they don’t want to dismiss the loss. When grief ambushes me, I am grateful for that but nonetheless, I still don’t want to be told, as I was recently, “You will always be an amputee”. By all means, please do say that grief isn’t a condition to recover from but remember God is a healer. Just after Trev died; I was in great pain and the last thing I needed was to hear that it would never improve. Far better was the promise that God would turn this dark, turbulent lake of grief into a shining stream that would wind through the landscape of our lives.
Words matter. That’s why we need biblical ones which release hope while still giving us permission to grieve. The Bible has language of lament for our greatest losses alongside words of hope that make a ladder out of the pit of despair - hope of comfort, hope that broken hearts will be tenderly bound up, hope that every tear will be wiped away, hope that God embraces the lonely, hope that God remains our source of joy. Instead of speaking of lack of recovery, the Bible speaks of redemption, of God turning all things to good for those who love him.
Despite all the tears, as I look back over the last two years, I can see God’s brushstrokes of redemption, making beauty out of tragedy. That God is near in our weeping is infinitely precious. There has been unexpected joy as we have shared our story and seen many encounter the love of God, some for the very first time. Last week, someone who entrusted his life to Jesus last year came to see me. He told me that his life had completely changed and that his family are now attending an Alpha course . And Connor and Throneroom Family have just produced the most beautiful CD in honour of Trev which is aptly named, “Heartsong”. Here is treasure out of darkness.
Choose carefully from the millions of words at your disposal. Choose hope. It will change how you pray, how you live and how you relate. Words matter.
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With thanks to dear Camilla Field whose photo is available as part of a set of notecards at www.fieldnotes.com with 50% of the profits going to Mind and Soul in aid of mental health.
Heartsong by Throneroom Family is available on Spotify or for purchase on bandcamp or as a CD.
